The past year has steadily amazed and intrigued me. Last year, at this time, I was avoiding any kind of pseudo serious relationship by hanging on to a crush that I was aware would never be compatible, even if it were to come together in fumbling attempts at intimacy. (this is in no way a slam against his sexual aptitude, just that there must be something more than physical attraction and a skewed sense of humor to have some semblance of a relationship.) I wasn't truly aware of my complete and total self sabotage until I brazenly laid my confusion out for examination. This was only because I was pushed by a "religious experience" to do so. After receiving a polite refusal of my affection, my heart jumped and I laughed! Then I realized... I shouldn't be this happy at being shot down. But I was. The friendship suffered a bit, and life has taken off for both of us, but he is still my friend, and we just pretend it never happened. I love him extra for that. The only thing that makes sense to me, as to why I was so happy, was that I knew it was wrong. I just wanted something I knew wasn't going to work. If you go in with it going to fall apart, it's not such a shock when it does.
I have moved twice since last year, trying desperately to make each place home, when it could never be. There was nothing wrong with those homes, not entirely. Sissy B's was warm and loving and amazing... but it was her home, not mine. My dad's house was beautiful, spacious and inviting.... but chaos and back biting kept it from being what I needed. Then in with one of my best guy friends... Beta. (Who will, from here on out be known as Scratchy. Because I prefer it, I don't demand it.)
Scratchy didn't care that within one weekend of being here I had rearranged every cupboard in the kitchen, and was writing up a list of things that this apartment needed. (How to single guys live off of such meager stuff?? I don't get it. Why wouldn't you have a mandolin to julienne your cabbage for slaw instead of cutting it by hand?) He just went to the store and got what I needed. It was a bit bumpy in the beginning, as I was the first woman he'd lived with aside from his amazing mom (who's name will be Tiny), so we needed to find a comfortable routine that was compromise as much as it was eye rolling and muttered curses. I will give him a boat load of credit. I am not an easy woman to please, and when I would get pissed at something he said or did, he would try his best to rectify and understand the situation. I do my best not to give him a reason to get mad at me, but when I have, he treats me like a grown up and talks to me about it. Almost all the time I understand his points, apologize and explain my actions, and I do what I can to not let it happen again.
Scratchy has always been a quiet, kind of backwards guy. I've known for quite some time that he's been interested in me, at least sexually, It's hard to spend most of your time with a girl who obsesses about sex as much as a teen aged boy, speaks candidly and openly about personal fetishes and fantasies, and not really want to know if she is as much of a freak as she seems. But he never really made any move to see if he could make it happen. I'd dropped some major hints, but typical to the gender, he missed them. It seemed to take forever but finally it happened.
Friday nights, we stay in, watch tv and hang out together. Occasionally on a Saturday we will go out with a few of his friends to a sports bar. We live a subdued, and boring social life. The most exciting thing I have going on in my life is when I get him to try a new recipe (I am a pintrest junkie... I admit it. I should go to meetings.) And in the midst of all this mundane life, in the throes of this quiet contentment, it hit me. I.am.in.a.relationship. A real one. Not a pseudo relationship where we only see each other on dates. We see each other in real life. We don't even go out to dinner once a week. (Sometimes we do, but it's not uncommon for me to cook every night.) On the heels of that revelation, another more staggering knocked the wind out of me.
I was in love with him.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
How the hell did this happen?!?!? No! This isn't right! What if he doesn't love me? Worse yet, what if he does?? Shit! Shit shit shit shit. This is going to hurt so bad. This isn't going to be good at all. Someone is going to hurt, and it's going to make me hurt, and I am so tired of hurting. Maybe I am wrong... maybe I am not in love. Maybe I am just being silly. That's it... I am confused again. But the thought of him politely rejecting me, of him turning his back on the only thing of value I have, made me desolate. So I went at it like a boy. I'd treated it all very offhandedly. He must have seen through it. Damn his keen eye. He informed me that he was aware of the situation between us, but he wouldn't discuss it because he didn't want to freak me out worse. He let me come to the idea as slow as I needed.
I won't say it's been easy. I've had second thoughts and moments of paralyzing fear. He knows, and he's never pushed... never gotten bent about my sometimes incapacitating past. Patient and caring, trying his damnedest to fix every hurt ever inflicted. Fuck if that didn't make me fall harder faster. All he ever wants is to see me smile, and would juggle flashing dildos to make it happen. It is an adjustment, being with someone who is happy just sitting next to me on the couch with his hand on my thigh.
Christmas was an interesting compromise of old traditions and new ones made. New Years was a quiet affair with Nan and Gentle Giant, Buh and Lil Bit. Super Bowl Sunday was spent at Ass's with him, Lois (Ass's girlfriend), and a few other friends. I consider holiday season over. But Scratchy, despite himself, is a traditional romantic at heart. On Valentine's Day, after dinner he took me out and bought me a chest freezer. Yeah, I got a card, a big box of my favorite chocolates, and a rose, but I.GOT.A.MAJOR.APPLIANCE. A major appliance that I had lusted after for years. My attached female friends spent the day posting about the flowers, candy, and jewelry they had got. And I was smirking to myself at how I got the better deal. And then he made plans to whisk me away for an night in a beautiful jacuzzi suite. The package was dinner (at my favorite steakhouse of all time), and a movie, included in the price of the room for a very awesome price. Check in Saturday at 3.
Saturday morning, I drag myself out of bed earlier than normal so I can freeze the family packs of pork chops, pork roasts, chicken breasts and ground beef that he had brought home the night before.Scratchy claimed he had to go finish buying my presents. 'Oh and by the way, what are your favorite candle scents?' I tell him my top two. I smile at him he kisses me and leaves. I get everything I need to get done, done. He sends me a picture of two candles, and tells me he'll be home shortly. I start packing an over night bag. I pack all the necessary accoutrements one must take on a romantic getaway, I pack toiletries and clothing. We were going to get ready for dinner at the hotel, so I had to take all my makeup and hair stuff. Scratchy came home, and was trying to get his stuff rounded up. He made the remark that he was sweating like a pig. I laughed, and told him there was no reason to be nervous, it's not like we'd never had sex before. He chuckled, and threw the last of his stuff in the bags.
We get to the hotel and marvel at how nice it is, how big the tub is, blah blah. He rushes me into the shower with the demand that I make sure it's safe when I am ready to come out. I begrudgingly complied. Showered, and dressed, I stood asking if I could come out until permission was given. When I came out of the bathroom, the rest of the suite had been lit softly with a handful of fragrant candles, grouped mostly around the tub. There were white fabric rose petals sprinkled all across the king sized bed, and on the floor surrounding the bed. It was the cutest thing. I'd never had anyone do anything that traditionally romantic just for me. I couldn't do anything but grin. I kissed him, and after being prodded, went and finished my makeup and hair so we could go to dinner.
The restaurant has a wait of an hour and a half. It's worth it, we waited. His best friend, Mr. Who, texted him during dinner. Just to give him a hard time, I point out that I wasn't allowed to text anyone, but he was texting. He laughed and said 'Maybe if you're good, I'll let you text later.' We laughed.
After dinner we went back to the room, and decided we were going to play a few hands of cards. (I insisted. I needed time for a wardrobe change, if you know what I mean.) I change into a pair of black yoga shorts and a tshirt... and black thigh high socks that were detailed up the back with a silver zipper design, and a hot pink Playboy Bunny above the knee. He smiled like the devil himself when he saw the socks. I told him he wasn't allowed to touch me while we were playing cards. And let me tell you, I had to scold him for breaking the rule a few times, but nothing too serious. Again, his phone chirped, Mr. Who had said something funny enough to make Scratchy laugh out loud. He sent a reply and picked his cards back up. I make another comment about him texting and me not, because I knew Mr Who wouldn't have bugged us without a reason, so I can safely rib Scratchy about it. He told me that I would soon enough know what was going on, and just to be patient. I think we were five hands in when I became disenchanted with the game. I got up to go to the bathroom, and told him I was ready to quit, insinuating heavily that I was ready for the jacuzzi.
He told me to stay in the bathroom until he said I could come back out. Figuring he was relighting the candles, to make the transition into that beautiful tub even more seamless, I stood in the bathroom until allowed to return to the main room. And as I suspected, all the candles had been relit and he was standing in the middle of the room. I smiled as I walked by and figured, why not get dirty before we take our bath, and started to crawl up on the bed. But he stopped me. Told me to stand next to the bed and close my eyes. I had one more surprise.
"Keep your eyes closed, do you have your eyes closed?"
"Yes." What the hell is he doing? He's walking away. Where the hell is he going?
And then he did it. My whole world slid out of tilt when I opened my eyes. I didn't even see the glinting rock in the red box that he had lifted up to me. I only registered that he was lower than me, HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HE'S ON ONE KNEE!! I lost the filter on my mouth the moment I realized he was on one knee. I was in shock, I couldn't help it, I incredulously asked...
"Are you fucking serious??" No malice, just utter confusion, and disbelief.
Honestly, I couldn't tell you what he said after he smiled and said yes. I don't know if he asked me to be his wife, or if he asked me to marry him. I don't know if he went on to tell me he loved me, or if he said my name when he asked me. I was too busy trying to memorize every major detail about this moment. The way he smiled when he spoke, how gently he held my hand, how my heart was beating so loud and so fast. I don't even know if I breathed. I know I nodded, or said yes. It seems to me, I screamed it, but in reality I probably choked it out. Arms wrapped and kisses deep and shuddering. Wait, wait... look at the ring, do you like it? I didn't care what the ring looked like, he bought it because he wants to be with me forever. He bought me a ring. I just wanted to kiss him again.
He made me stop. I think he needed to know that I liked the ring. We'd never discussed anything about styles, or metals, or even sizes. He walked into it blind. I flicked on the light and sat down on the edge of the bed. He proudly informed me that it was a three quarter ct, that the band was white gold, and the cut was called a brilliant cut. He said I told him that you were a simpler kind of person, nothing flashy, nothing too bling bling. I thought this one was good because it was just a solitaire, just basic, but beautiful. He went on to tell me that it probably wouldn't fit, we'd have to get it sized. They had shown him the biggest sized rings they had on the floor, in his price range. As I pulled the ring out of the box, I asked what size it was. Seven? Must be, because it fits.
It was too late to tell most people, although, Mr Who had stated he was not going to bed until he got an answer as to what I'd said, got a text almost immediately. I sent out a few texts, telling those I am closest to. I even texted my dad, whom I haven't spoken to since moving out of the house. At 7:30 Sunday morning, Scratchy called Tiny and asked her if she would be home for awhile, that we were going to stop by. By 9 am we were sitting in his mom's living room. She took the news with hoots and hugs. And some gentle pressure to provide her with a grandchild. Which isn't any different than any other time I talk to her. We just laugh her off. From there we went to Scratchy's dad's and told him. He congratulated us and asked about babies. We laughed it off.
I am still in a state of shock. Every time the light catches the stone I am in awe of how much my life has changed in this past year. How I have gone from being lost, to having a home. We haven't set a date, we aren't going to rush things too much. I don't think it's become real enough for me to think about setting a date.
I wanted to tell you all, I wanted you to be happy with me. I hope everything is going as good for you, as it is for me. Now, I have to fill up my ice water and make sure thee is enough sweet tea for Scratchy to have something to drink when he wakes up... Even tho he should be drinking his pineapple juice first thing so it's done for the day....
*BSWK*
The Slut
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
My New Love.
Since moving in with Beta... there's been a renewing of passion in my life. Food. I am remiss to admit to you all that I have gain an exorbitant amount of weight. So I've cut my sweet teas down, and have started drinking more water. I've lost a bit, and am working on the rest of it.
But this is how in love with food I am, this whole blog is going to be about food... Food I love to cook to be more precise. At this moment, I have green beans, bacon and ham simmering in the crockpot. I'll add the potatoes in the morning, so they cook down, but don't turn to mush. I've made a bolognese ragu with fresh fettuccine... From scratch. The tomato sauce was made from fresh tomatoes. I was quite proud of that. It was smashing too. Beta's mom and her fiancee stopped by, and I fed them too. Rave reviews.
I place a lot of my self worth on the food I feed to people I care about. My mother was an amazing cook, my sister, and Nan are great cooks. It's how we show our love... You feed those you love, you make sure their bellies are full, and they're comfortable and smiling. I take it as a personal slight if I cook and someone won't try it. Not everyone likes the style of cooking I pride myself on, and I am realist enough to know that I won't please every single person, but at least give it a chance.
So, what's your favorite foods? What are your favorite recipes? Am I weird for feeling this way?
*BSWK*
But this is how in love with food I am, this whole blog is going to be about food... Food I love to cook to be more precise. At this moment, I have green beans, bacon and ham simmering in the crockpot. I'll add the potatoes in the morning, so they cook down, but don't turn to mush. I've made a bolognese ragu with fresh fettuccine... From scratch. The tomato sauce was made from fresh tomatoes. I was quite proud of that. It was smashing too. Beta's mom and her fiancee stopped by, and I fed them too. Rave reviews.
I place a lot of my self worth on the food I feed to people I care about. My mother was an amazing cook, my sister, and Nan are great cooks. It's how we show our love... You feed those you love, you make sure their bellies are full, and they're comfortable and smiling. I take it as a personal slight if I cook and someone won't try it. Not everyone likes the style of cooking I pride myself on, and I am realist enough to know that I won't please every single person, but at least give it a chance.
So, what's your favorite foods? What are your favorite recipes? Am I weird for feeling this way?
*BSWK*
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Oh Em Gee!! She's still alive!!
Earlier today I was on the phone with our beloved Sarcastic Mama and the topic of our blogs came up. She googled me, and informed me that I had not blogged since July 3. That's crazy talk!! But she was right. I have horribly neglected you all. I just have so much on my plate right now. Where do I start?? How about back when I stopped blogging and posting on my page so much....
We all know that I was living in the house that my father owned. I was living there with Buh and my step sister Lil D and her boyfriend, and her two children. I don't want to slam anyone... but it wasn't a healthy environment. D has emotional issues and problems with addictions and the law, as did her boyfriend. They pretty much did nothing but smoke K2 and run the roads (yeah, she was still pregnant... She didn't care, so why should anyone else?) I stayed home, and cleaned the house... All.the.damn.time. I had friends (Beta, Ass, Nan... to name a few) telling me to stop doing everything and make them help. Turns out, they were telling my dad that Buh and I were trashing the house and making them clean it. She also told my dad that since I 'constantly had company over' she was relegated to sitting in her bedroom because she was uncomfortable. Truth of the matter was... Beta was there about four nights out of seven. He would message me while he was at work and ask me if I would mind cooking dinner. I absolutely love to cook. Seriously. I adore it. So I would always tell him "Sure. Bring what you want for dinner, and I will cook it." This worked out beautifully for both parties, he got a home cooked meal after working 12-14 hour days, and Buh and I got fed. See, D would go grocery shopping and keep the food in her bedroom. I know that Beta did it more so that he knew Buh and I were getting fed, and I couldn't have been more grateful for it. Some nights he would just take us out to dinner to get us away from the drama. Another friend of mine started sending me grocery money, and money to help with my other living expenses, like a cell phone. The Butch has come through for me so many times I can't count, and I can't say where I would have been without her as a safety net.
Anylaid.... About the beginning of March, D started making noises that her uncle was moving into the house, and I was going to have to move out. My father hadn't said anything about it, so I let her talk because I never believed a thing that came out of her mouth. Then he shut the cable off in the beginning of May. This fucked me. I had no phone, no internet, nothing. I could care less about the TV, but the ability to have contact with the outside world --- Just cut --- Just like that. Nothing. I did what I could, and I could have gotten the bill paid, but my dad wouldn't let me. Two weeks later he called me and told me that his wife's brother was buying the house. (This was after I told him I was able to carry the bills and house payment, if he got D and her family out of the house.) I was screwed. I kept a calm head, I continued telling everyone I would figure it out, I would land on my feet, stop stressing... knowing the whole time I was screaming and crying inside. Buh talked to his grandfather one night for a few hours, and in that time... my father informed my son that we were going to be homeless and it was all my fault. "Had your mother gotten a job, I could have let you guys stay in the house." Never let us mind that Buh's dad had proposed a deal with me, him and his two youngest boys would move in, he would pay the bills, and I would take care of the kids and house, and provide the groceries for me and Buh. Sounded solid to me. He would get the master bedroom, I would get the second largest bedroom, and the boys would be in the extra rooms in the basement. That wasn't good enough for him... *I* was to be paying all the bills. So my father vetoed the idea. It was all my fault that we were going to be homeless.
My Buh cried that night. He was angry, he was finally doing well in a school system, he had made friends, he was to be on the football team his freshman year. We had been in a relatively country-esque setting where he could run a little more wild, be a little louder, throw the ball a little further. We had a beautiful three bedroom house with a pool and over an acre of land. It was all being taken away because my father didn't like how the bills would have been paid. Now, had Seymore (Buh's dad) and I decided we were going to get back together, and I was playing stay at home mom for my man and my step kids.... he probably would have been okay with it. But because it was a platonic situation, he decided I needed to stand on my own two feet. He didn't want to look at the fact that I would basically be a live-in nanny, which is a legitimate job.
After informed that my company made them feel uncomfortable, the nights Beta came down, we'd eat and then sit in my bedroom, and play words with friends. (Totally addicting game.) I had days before I had to be out of my dad's house, and not a single clue as to what I was going to do. That house had been my last resort. I didn't want to ask my dad for help in the first place, but I was left with no other option... after that option had expired, I had no clue where I was going to go. So this is what happened... Beta was sitting on the end of my bed, playing poker while waiting for me to play my next word, and he said "What's your plan? Where are you going? You don't have any more time." And immediately my anxiety rose. I told him my patent answer. "I'll figure it out. I'll be okay." And he looked at me and said... "I have an extra bedroom. Buh can sleep in it after I get it cleaned out." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was offering me an out, a back up plan. I jumped at it, after clarifying that he knew what he was getting into. He was a confirmed bachelor, had never lived with a woman other than his mom. And he was offering to let an Alpha female take over his house... no wait... an OMEGA female. That night I started packing my belongings, and the next night, we took a load over to his apartment. I just started staying there whenever Buh didn't have school, or was with Seymore or Douche Bag. I had clothes and toiletries at Beta's and would go to the house only when I had to. Most of my things were still at the house.
I went back to the house and realized that one of the curtains from my bedroom had gone missing... along with a movie that had belonged to my mom and was given to me when she died, along with other things. I texted my dad and told him basically that if my belongings mysteriously returned to their rightful place, I'd let it go, no harm no foul. Got a load of things that I needed, and went back to Beta's. Four days later, I went back to the house to get the rest of my things, Beta had gotten a box truck from work and we were pretty sure we could get the rest of it in one fell swoop.
I walked into the house, and went into my bedroom. The first thing I noticed was the gaping whole in my bed. Then the absence of my costume jewelry and perfumes, and by God there was a bag of garbage thrown all over my clean clothes that had been folded and stacked on the floor. There were boxes of my things dumped, and items broken. Now, I am not typically a violent person when I am angry. I am not what you could call a "hitter." I tend to sit back and plot. Hurt me and I will destroy your life, not your body. But as I stormed back up the hallway, into the house, I punched the wall. I'm not proud of it. I just want to relate to you how incredibly acerbated I was. I texted my father. I told him what I had found after being gone. He told me that there was no reason for them to act like that, so he didn't know what to tell me... but he laid heavily on the insinuation that I had done this all myself. He said he had asked them about my missing items, and they denied knowledge, so I must have misplaced them. Now while he is basically telling me that she's a perfect angel and I am the devil incarnate, I am digging through the pile of curtains on the couch. I find my curtain. I tell him that for them not knowing where my things were, I was finding them in their shit. And that I didn't understand why he would believe I would take a box cutter to my mattress, and destroy my things just to get her in trouble. I'm a grown ass woman. Not a twenty something teeny bopper with a drug problem! I told him that if he chose to believe her that was fine, he could make his own decisions. But I wouldn't be treated like that anymore. That I was sorry he could believe such bad things about me, obviously I shouldn't be in his life if I was that bad of a person.
His last text to me was "Do whatever you want... don't respond to this text." I told him I was walking out of his life, and he told me don't respond. I didn't.
I moved in with Beta. Over the summer we tried like hell to move back down into the area that my father's house was in. It just wasn't happening. Buh started school in this school district, and is having the same problems he had in the district he was in when he lived with Nan. I cook, I clean, I play 1950's housewife. Beta gets together with his friends on Sundays to watch football, he takes Buh, sometimes I send goodies with them. He does what he can to make sure Buh and I are taken care of, and in return I do what I can to take care of him. We're talking about moving in the spring, to a bigger apartment or a house. He really wants a house. I'm cool with that. He won't let me hang pictures, or even curtains here. A house would be nice to decorate.
I have to give him props... for never living with a woman before, he's done quite well with adjusting. If I have a problem, I just lay it out for him. He listens, and he does what he can to take my feelings into consideration the next time a similar situation comes up. I have an amazing best friend.
So when his mom got sick, I had no issues with taking her to the doctor. Her and I get along famously anyways. We laugh, we joke, we confide in each other. I was on my way to the bank a few days later when he called me and asked me to pick her up from the Dr's office and drive her to the hospital. Her COPD was flared because of a cold. She couldn't breathe. I was on my way to her. I got her to the hospital and sat with her all day. I felt horrible because she was so sick and it wasn't getting better, there was nothing I could do to help her. I hate having my hands tied in a situation like that. After she'd gotten a breathing treatment, and eaten part of her dinner, I finally headed home. I knew I was going back the next day. The first four days she was in the hospital, I went to see her. On the fifth day, I couldn't go. I had caught a cold, and couldn't risk reinfecting her. So I have been suffering from this horrendous head cold that makes me make the most pitiful noises, and been unable to go see how she is faring. Beta said she's doing the same, and that's not exactly good. Last night I made barbeque chicken, au gratin potatoes and green beans, and he took a plate to her so we know she's eating.
There's more... but it's almost 3 am here, and I am a sleepy slut. So I will try to blog the rest soon. I'm not posting this on my page, because D follows me... and I just don't want the drama. I'm over it. I'm above it. I'm better than it. So if you know your friends follow me, but aren't subscribed to the blog, make sure you share me.
I miss you all something terrible.
~*~BSWK~*~
The Slut
We all know that I was living in the house that my father owned. I was living there with Buh and my step sister Lil D and her boyfriend, and her two children. I don't want to slam anyone... but it wasn't a healthy environment. D has emotional issues and problems with addictions and the law, as did her boyfriend. They pretty much did nothing but smoke K2 and run the roads (yeah, she was still pregnant... She didn't care, so why should anyone else?) I stayed home, and cleaned the house... All.the.damn.time. I had friends (Beta, Ass, Nan... to name a few) telling me to stop doing everything and make them help. Turns out, they were telling my dad that Buh and I were trashing the house and making them clean it. She also told my dad that since I 'constantly had company over' she was relegated to sitting in her bedroom because she was uncomfortable. Truth of the matter was... Beta was there about four nights out of seven. He would message me while he was at work and ask me if I would mind cooking dinner. I absolutely love to cook. Seriously. I adore it. So I would always tell him "Sure. Bring what you want for dinner, and I will cook it." This worked out beautifully for both parties, he got a home cooked meal after working 12-14 hour days, and Buh and I got fed. See, D would go grocery shopping and keep the food in her bedroom. I know that Beta did it more so that he knew Buh and I were getting fed, and I couldn't have been more grateful for it. Some nights he would just take us out to dinner to get us away from the drama. Another friend of mine started sending me grocery money, and money to help with my other living expenses, like a cell phone. The Butch has come through for me so many times I can't count, and I can't say where I would have been without her as a safety net.
Anylaid.... About the beginning of March, D started making noises that her uncle was moving into the house, and I was going to have to move out. My father hadn't said anything about it, so I let her talk because I never believed a thing that came out of her mouth. Then he shut the cable off in the beginning of May. This fucked me. I had no phone, no internet, nothing. I could care less about the TV, but the ability to have contact with the outside world --- Just cut --- Just like that. Nothing. I did what I could, and I could have gotten the bill paid, but my dad wouldn't let me. Two weeks later he called me and told me that his wife's brother was buying the house. (This was after I told him I was able to carry the bills and house payment, if he got D and her family out of the house.) I was screwed. I kept a calm head, I continued telling everyone I would figure it out, I would land on my feet, stop stressing... knowing the whole time I was screaming and crying inside. Buh talked to his grandfather one night for a few hours, and in that time... my father informed my son that we were going to be homeless and it was all my fault. "Had your mother gotten a job, I could have let you guys stay in the house." Never let us mind that Buh's dad had proposed a deal with me, him and his two youngest boys would move in, he would pay the bills, and I would take care of the kids and house, and provide the groceries for me and Buh. Sounded solid to me. He would get the master bedroom, I would get the second largest bedroom, and the boys would be in the extra rooms in the basement. That wasn't good enough for him... *I* was to be paying all the bills. So my father vetoed the idea. It was all my fault that we were going to be homeless.
My Buh cried that night. He was angry, he was finally doing well in a school system, he had made friends, he was to be on the football team his freshman year. We had been in a relatively country-esque setting where he could run a little more wild, be a little louder, throw the ball a little further. We had a beautiful three bedroom house with a pool and over an acre of land. It was all being taken away because my father didn't like how the bills would have been paid. Now, had Seymore (Buh's dad) and I decided we were going to get back together, and I was playing stay at home mom for my man and my step kids.... he probably would have been okay with it. But because it was a platonic situation, he decided I needed to stand on my own two feet. He didn't want to look at the fact that I would basically be a live-in nanny, which is a legitimate job.
After informed that my company made them feel uncomfortable, the nights Beta came down, we'd eat and then sit in my bedroom, and play words with friends. (Totally addicting game.) I had days before I had to be out of my dad's house, and not a single clue as to what I was going to do. That house had been my last resort. I didn't want to ask my dad for help in the first place, but I was left with no other option... after that option had expired, I had no clue where I was going to go. So this is what happened... Beta was sitting on the end of my bed, playing poker while waiting for me to play my next word, and he said "What's your plan? Where are you going? You don't have any more time." And immediately my anxiety rose. I told him my patent answer. "I'll figure it out. I'll be okay." And he looked at me and said... "I have an extra bedroom. Buh can sleep in it after I get it cleaned out." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was offering me an out, a back up plan. I jumped at it, after clarifying that he knew what he was getting into. He was a confirmed bachelor, had never lived with a woman other than his mom. And he was offering to let an Alpha female take over his house... no wait... an OMEGA female. That night I started packing my belongings, and the next night, we took a load over to his apartment. I just started staying there whenever Buh didn't have school, or was with Seymore or Douche Bag. I had clothes and toiletries at Beta's and would go to the house only when I had to. Most of my things were still at the house.
I went back to the house and realized that one of the curtains from my bedroom had gone missing... along with a movie that had belonged to my mom and was given to me when she died, along with other things. I texted my dad and told him basically that if my belongings mysteriously returned to their rightful place, I'd let it go, no harm no foul. Got a load of things that I needed, and went back to Beta's. Four days later, I went back to the house to get the rest of my things, Beta had gotten a box truck from work and we were pretty sure we could get the rest of it in one fell swoop.
I walked into the house, and went into my bedroom. The first thing I noticed was the gaping whole in my bed. Then the absence of my costume jewelry and perfumes, and by God there was a bag of garbage thrown all over my clean clothes that had been folded and stacked on the floor. There were boxes of my things dumped, and items broken. Now, I am not typically a violent person when I am angry. I am not what you could call a "hitter." I tend to sit back and plot. Hurt me and I will destroy your life, not your body. But as I stormed back up the hallway, into the house, I punched the wall. I'm not proud of it. I just want to relate to you how incredibly acerbated I was. I texted my father. I told him what I had found after being gone. He told me that there was no reason for them to act like that, so he didn't know what to tell me... but he laid heavily on the insinuation that I had done this all myself. He said he had asked them about my missing items, and they denied knowledge, so I must have misplaced them. Now while he is basically telling me that she's a perfect angel and I am the devil incarnate, I am digging through the pile of curtains on the couch. I find my curtain. I tell him that for them not knowing where my things were, I was finding them in their shit. And that I didn't understand why he would believe I would take a box cutter to my mattress, and destroy my things just to get her in trouble. I'm a grown ass woman. Not a twenty something teeny bopper with a drug problem! I told him that if he chose to believe her that was fine, he could make his own decisions. But I wouldn't be treated like that anymore. That I was sorry he could believe such bad things about me, obviously I shouldn't be in his life if I was that bad of a person.
His last text to me was "Do whatever you want... don't respond to this text." I told him I was walking out of his life, and he told me don't respond. I didn't.
I moved in with Beta. Over the summer we tried like hell to move back down into the area that my father's house was in. It just wasn't happening. Buh started school in this school district, and is having the same problems he had in the district he was in when he lived with Nan. I cook, I clean, I play 1950's housewife. Beta gets together with his friends on Sundays to watch football, he takes Buh, sometimes I send goodies with them. He does what he can to make sure Buh and I are taken care of, and in return I do what I can to take care of him. We're talking about moving in the spring, to a bigger apartment or a house. He really wants a house. I'm cool with that. He won't let me hang pictures, or even curtains here. A house would be nice to decorate.
I have to give him props... for never living with a woman before, he's done quite well with adjusting. If I have a problem, I just lay it out for him. He listens, and he does what he can to take my feelings into consideration the next time a similar situation comes up. I have an amazing best friend.
So when his mom got sick, I had no issues with taking her to the doctor. Her and I get along famously anyways. We laugh, we joke, we confide in each other. I was on my way to the bank a few days later when he called me and asked me to pick her up from the Dr's office and drive her to the hospital. Her COPD was flared because of a cold. She couldn't breathe. I was on my way to her. I got her to the hospital and sat with her all day. I felt horrible because she was so sick and it wasn't getting better, there was nothing I could do to help her. I hate having my hands tied in a situation like that. After she'd gotten a breathing treatment, and eaten part of her dinner, I finally headed home. I knew I was going back the next day. The first four days she was in the hospital, I went to see her. On the fifth day, I couldn't go. I had caught a cold, and couldn't risk reinfecting her. So I have been suffering from this horrendous head cold that makes me make the most pitiful noises, and been unable to go see how she is faring. Beta said she's doing the same, and that's not exactly good. Last night I made barbeque chicken, au gratin potatoes and green beans, and he took a plate to her so we know she's eating.
There's more... but it's almost 3 am here, and I am a sleepy slut. So I will try to blog the rest soon. I'm not posting this on my page, because D follows me... and I just don't want the drama. I'm over it. I'm above it. I'm better than it. So if you know your friends follow me, but aren't subscribed to the blog, make sure you share me.
I miss you all something terrible.
~*~BSWK~*~
The Slut
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Uhm, so yeah...
There's a lot going on right now, and I don't know how or even if I can express most of it in words. I'm no longer on speaking terms with my father, or my best friend Nan. It hurts that I have lost two important people in my life, but I am never going to beg for attention again. If I am not good enough for you, then I guess you can keep moving and I will find others that love me and see me as someone special. I am tired of being made feel like I am irrevocably flawed, that I am so blemished that I must be hidden or that it's okay to slander me, or distrust me because someone said whatever they deem truth.
Oh and heads up, this blog might not make much sense, as it's going to be coming from a mildly congested and confused mind through exhausted and pain riddled hands. I apologize in advance.
Oh and heads up, this blog might not make much sense, as it's going to be coming from a mildly congested and confused mind through exhausted and pain riddled hands. I apologize in advance.
Great things going on in my life....
#1.) Buh has been promoted to the next grade, and was actively pursued by the football coach. He's everything I wasn't in high school. Good looking, funny, smart, athletic, he's a popular boy with the personality of a regular guy. He's that popular boy that doesn't think he's popular, so he'll be friends with everyone. He's happy. He's healthy. Him and Lil Bit broke up for all of three days, and got back together. He's a normal, headstrong, awesome teenager.
#2.) I have realized that I have some fucktabulust friends. Yes, they are everywhere. No, I haven't met all of them face to face. But seriously... fucking amazing people in my life. I have close, maybe even considered best friends, from Manhattan to Iowa, and more. One of them is struggling with the health of someone amazing to them... so everyone send some love to OK for my best Butch's wifey. I have Beta, who is ALWAYS there for me when I need him... I have so many great people, and it does make it a little easier to make it through the loss of the few I have lost.
#3.) Sit<3 has FINALLY listened to me and given a specific guy a chance. He's a guy I dated for a month or so last Summer. I knew things weren't going to work with me and him as anything more than fuck buddies, and I seen the potential between them two. I've been telling her for forever to put it to him, but she wouldn't. Now, she's been talking/texting/hanging out with him and I got the giggly girl phone call about how sweet he is, and how she LOVES the no pressure attitude he has, but still makes it perfectly known he's more than interested. He takes her out on real dates, and doesn't expect her to pay for it all. He is content to sit on a blanket in her front yard with her bff in the middle of the night to bs and chill. He's good with her kids. He has ambition and he's close to his parents. She's more of what he's looking for, and he's totally diggin her. I am happy for her and I am more than willing to soothe her fears of being hurt again, and her freaking out over liking him. I know relationships are scary fucking things when you're steadfast in the "I AM STAYING SINGLE!!!!" mindset.
Good things in my life.....
#1.) I got to go to the first family reunion I've been to in quite a few years. I got to rent a 2012 royal blue ford mustang and drove the 5 hours to my favorite Aunt's farm. I got to surprise my freshly graduated cousin (who claims I am her favorite cousin.) I can not describe the feeling of amazingfaceness you get when you have to throw the things in your hands at the person standing next to you while saying "hold this, hold this, she's coming" because someone is running full speed at you, screaming your birth name with their arms spread. Or how fantastic it is to see your two older cousins that you didn't even know were going to be there.
#2.) I have complete command of a kitchen. My 1950's housewife is showing... and I am happiest when I can control a kitchen.
#3.) I get to see Ass more now. He makes me laugh. And even tho his life is a bit chaotic right now, (what with planning a family vacation to the ocean and all... ) he seems happy. Tired, a bit cranky, busy as all get out, but happy. (I think it might be the girl... but it could be he sees the light at the end of his tunnel.) Either way, I couldn't be happier for him.
Not so amazing things....
#1.) I am scared and confused
#2.) I never have time for my page.
#3.) Can we not dwell on the negative?
I miss you guys.
*BSWK*
#1.) Buh has been promoted to the next grade, and was actively pursued by the football coach. He's everything I wasn't in high school. Good looking, funny, smart, athletic, he's a popular boy with the personality of a regular guy. He's that popular boy that doesn't think he's popular, so he'll be friends with everyone. He's happy. He's healthy. Him and Lil Bit broke up for all of three days, and got back together. He's a normal, headstrong, awesome teenager.
#2.) I have realized that I have some fucktabulust friends. Yes, they are everywhere. No, I haven't met all of them face to face. But seriously... fucking amazing people in my life. I have close, maybe even considered best friends, from Manhattan to Iowa, and more. One of them is struggling with the health of someone amazing to them... so everyone send some love to OK for my best Butch's wifey. I have Beta, who is ALWAYS there for me when I need him... I have so many great people, and it does make it a little easier to make it through the loss of the few I have lost.
#3.) Sit<3 has FINALLY listened to me and given a specific guy a chance. He's a guy I dated for a month or so last Summer. I knew things weren't going to work with me and him as anything more than fuck buddies, and I seen the potential between them two. I've been telling her for forever to put it to him, but she wouldn't. Now, she's been talking/texting/hanging out with him and I got the giggly girl phone call about how sweet he is, and how she LOVES the no pressure attitude he has, but still makes it perfectly known he's more than interested. He takes her out on real dates, and doesn't expect her to pay for it all. He is content to sit on a blanket in her front yard with her bff in the middle of the night to bs and chill. He's good with her kids. He has ambition and he's close to his parents. She's more of what he's looking for, and he's totally diggin her. I am happy for her and I am more than willing to soothe her fears of being hurt again, and her freaking out over liking him. I know relationships are scary fucking things when you're steadfast in the "I AM STAYING SINGLE!!!!" mindset.
Good things in my life.....
#1.) I got to go to the first family reunion I've been to in quite a few years. I got to rent a 2012 royal blue ford mustang and drove the 5 hours to my favorite Aunt's farm. I got to surprise my freshly graduated cousin (who claims I am her favorite cousin.) I can not describe the feeling of amazingfaceness you get when you have to throw the things in your hands at the person standing next to you while saying "hold this, hold this, she's coming" because someone is running full speed at you, screaming your birth name with their arms spread. Or how fantastic it is to see your two older cousins that you didn't even know were going to be there.
#2.) I have complete command of a kitchen. My 1950's housewife is showing... and I am happiest when I can control a kitchen.
#3.) I get to see Ass more now. He makes me laugh. And even tho his life is a bit chaotic right now, (what with planning a family vacation to the ocean and all... ) he seems happy. Tired, a bit cranky, busy as all get out, but happy. (I think it might be the girl... but it could be he sees the light at the end of his tunnel.) Either way, I couldn't be happier for him.
Not so amazing things....
#1.) I am scared and confused
#2.) I never have time for my page.
#3.) Can we not dwell on the negative?
I miss you guys.
*BSWK*
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
BIG DEEP BREATH.....
I think it is the best way to get over someone,however for me if I hook up with someone new,I usually get addicted to her,I fall in love too easy,get hooked on the love and I'm right back where I was to begin with.I have come to realize that I hate to be alone,to be mateless makes me feel worthless.I dont do well alone,case in point.....I left my wife after being caught in a compromising position with another woman,the other woman called it off immediately after we got caught,saying she could not deal with being called a home wrecker,so I moved out and got a motel room,my wife begged me to come back,while the other woman would not return my calls message me or anything zero contact while at the motel,GGRRRR!If the other woman had at least contacted me I wouldn't have even considered going back,but without a mate I fell right back into the very trap I was escaping from.I dont know how to be alone.....My wife was the other woman in the beginning of our relationship and when my first wife found out about her she brought my belongings over to her house and dumped them in the road in front of her house,she stuck by me through thick and thin and even after catching me with another woman she wanted me back,but my problem is,I am still in love with the other woman but she hardly ever contacts me she claims that she still cares about me,but she is afraid of being called a homewrecker,which is frustrating for me because I need a woman who will stick by me through thick and thin,she obviously isnt gonna be there for me and if I leave I will be on my own,but my question is this: Is this other woman eventually going to be with me after all this or is she just blowing me off?I am very confused because usually in these situations the other woman is there for me,at least on a limited time basis,I have never met a woman who claimed she loved me yet wouldnt be there until I'm free and clear,any advice?
~Unsigned
~Unsigned
Unsigned,
When I first read your message, I immediately responded with... "You may not want my advice honey... It's not going to be what you wanna hear." But the more I have sat here and thought about it, the more I needed to speak on it. I hope I don't lose you as a follower, but I have to get this off my chest.
I care about each one of my fans. I know I am very absentminded and sometimes I neglect the page, but I do wish nothing but the absolute best for you guys. This includes a happy healthy sex life and honest relationships. You aren't being either. It's not healthy and it's not honest. If you can't be a whole person by yourself, and be okay with who you are enough to not *need* the consistency of what a relationship gives you, there is something wrong.
No one should need someone else to make them whole. The girls I know, myself included, want someone who is going to compliment them, not complete them. I am already whole. I don't need completed. I want someone who is going to make me shine in the best light, not that I need just to shine.
In my most honest and humblest opinions, stop being with either of them. You need to get YOU to a point where you are happy being you, not just you in a relationship. Relationship jumpers, in my experience, live their lives to be who they think their partner wants them to be and they lose themselves in the relationship. When the relationship loses it's shine, they are looking for the next best thing. It's not healthy for anyone involved, and could all be avoided if the jumper was happy and content with themselves enough to be honest. This is the reason there are so many bitter bitches out there. Because they give their all to someone like that and he's cheating... and he never once said anything about being that unhappy. It's enough to make someone hate someone else.
Stop being like this, stop being a douchebag. Because THAT is a douchebag move. If you'd man up and talk to these women before things got bad enough for you to *THINK* about stepping out, you wouldn't be stepping out. Your girl would either work it through with you, or bounce. You can't want to be in the relationship anymore if you are even considering being with someone else. So you should be single for a while. Work through whatever issues you have with you, and then be happy being you for a little while before being with someone else.
So... file divorce papers, and let the 'homewrecker' live her life too... You concentrate on being you. No one should define themselves through a relationship. You should define yourself with the things that spell out YOU.
Sorry if I come across too harsh, but right now, you are giving guys a bad name. You are being a douchebag. STOP.IT.NOW.
*BSWK*
~The Slut
When I first read your message, I immediately responded with... "You may not want my advice honey... It's not going to be what you wanna hear." But the more I have sat here and thought about it, the more I needed to speak on it. I hope I don't lose you as a follower, but I have to get this off my chest.
I care about each one of my fans. I know I am very absentminded and sometimes I neglect the page, but I do wish nothing but the absolute best for you guys. This includes a happy healthy sex life and honest relationships. You aren't being either. It's not healthy and it's not honest. If you can't be a whole person by yourself, and be okay with who you are enough to not *need* the consistency of what a relationship gives you, there is something wrong.
No one should need someone else to make them whole. The girls I know, myself included, want someone who is going to compliment them, not complete them. I am already whole. I don't need completed. I want someone who is going to make me shine in the best light, not that I need just to shine.
In my most honest and humblest opinions, stop being with either of them. You need to get YOU to a point where you are happy being you, not just you in a relationship. Relationship jumpers, in my experience, live their lives to be who they think their partner wants them to be and they lose themselves in the relationship. When the relationship loses it's shine, they are looking for the next best thing. It's not healthy for anyone involved, and could all be avoided if the jumper was happy and content with themselves enough to be honest. This is the reason there are so many bitter bitches out there. Because they give their all to someone like that and he's cheating... and he never once said anything about being that unhappy. It's enough to make someone hate someone else.
Stop being like this, stop being a douchebag. Because THAT is a douchebag move. If you'd man up and talk to these women before things got bad enough for you to *THINK* about stepping out, you wouldn't be stepping out. Your girl would either work it through with you, or bounce. You can't want to be in the relationship anymore if you are even considering being with someone else. So you should be single for a while. Work through whatever issues you have with you, and then be happy being you for a little while before being with someone else.
So... file divorce papers, and let the 'homewrecker' live her life too... You concentrate on being you. No one should define themselves through a relationship. You should define yourself with the things that spell out YOU.
Sorry if I come across too harsh, but right now, you are giving guys a bad name. You are being a douchebag. STOP.IT.NOW.
*BSWK*
~The Slut
Thursday, April 26, 2012
My Pithy Advice for a Girl Lost
I am a fan of your FB page and I enjoy it! I need advice about something. Yes, it is about a guy.
I have involved myself with a married guy (I can hear your sigh already). He and I have been going round for 8 months now. We are at the point were I have fallen for him a little. He says his marriage is all but over but staying for his kids blah blah blah. He does admit that the reason why his marriage fell apart is because of his choices. He and I have not slept together but we have kissed a couple times.
Some time ago, I got tired of the back and forth and the bullshit so I asked him to either choose me or not. I just don't want to live in this limbo anymore. As expected, he didn't choose me. I knew this would happen but it doesn't make it hurt any less. So, I sucked it up and I realize I need to move on (even though I don't want too).
I am talking to this nice guy who is great. We are friends. We have slept together a few times but I feel bad about it. I am emotionally unavailable because of the married guy. (The New guy is emotionally unavailable also but for different reasons) The reason why I am emotionally unavailable is because the married guy won't leave me alone. At this point, I think he tells me shit just so I feel bad about dating. You know that saying "he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone to have me either"?? I think that applies here.
I need some advice on what to do. Oh, the married guy and I were great friends before feelings started and we work together.
Help put me out of my misery lol.. thanks!
- lost in uncertainty.
Lost,
Yes, I sighed. A deep and heavy laden sigh, that made my shoulders rise and fall. I also shook my head in the way you would expect any mother to do. A married man??? Really?? How did this happen?? It's so cliché that it makes me want to throw rocks at you like you were a boy.
First thing first... You need to get Married Guy out of your life... STAT. Do whatever you have to do, I suggest changing your phone number, email, blocking him on Facebook, and telling him to go home to his wife until he's got divorce papers the ink is drying on. If he doesn't respect that... it shows how much you really mean to him. If he continues to try to fuck with you, I would suggest (and this is coming from a previously scorned wife who has a habit of being a little vindictive) threatening to tell his wife about his extra-curricular activities. I mean, if he doesn't give a shit about you, and your feelings, why care if it destroys his life?? It's not like she doesn't have the right to know... Wouldn't you want to know if you were the wife??
If Married Guy is making you feel bad about dating, and moving on, it shows what a SUPREME DOUCHEBAG he is. Do you really want to continue involvement with someone who obviously doesn't want to see you happy, even tho he doesn't want to be the one to make you happy?? Look at the situation for what it is, and getting over him may come a lot easier. He's a manipulator, and a cheater. Which means... He has no respect for any one. He doesn't understand loyalty or trust in a way that's applicable to him. No one wants that in a partner. Even fuck buddies have a level of loyalty and trust. You are not going to change him... He is who he is. Common mistake for women, we think we can change them... we can't. SOMETIMES we can modify their behavior but never can we change who they are.
Secondly... This thing with New Guy... why feel bad about having fun? If it's understood that it's not going to go beyond what it is now, for whatever reasons, why sweat it? Just make sure you keep being honest with each other, and agree that if things change, and you start to feel more or less than you do now, that you will discuss it like grown ups. So.many.people. forget that they are grown ups. That's when the problems start.
As long as you are attracted to New Guy, and he's NOT ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP, there's not one thing wrong with you dating him. Have fun, rock it out loud. And if you still feel guilty.. Which I don't see how you could now that I have told you what a loser Married Guy is, then take some time off dating. There's nothing wrong with taking a mourning period after something doesn't work the way you wanted it to.
I hope I helped... this is what I would tell any one of my real life friends, sans the slap on the back of the head.
*BSWK*
The Slut
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Who's who??
So now that I am above 30,000 fans on my Facebook page... Which I thought was impossible. Really. I had no clue that this many people would give two shits about the ramblings of a divorced, young-ish, mother of a teenager, who has the sex drive of another teenager. lol. I do have a motley bunch who make up the cast of my life... and you should all know who is who so it's easy to follow along.
First and foremost... I have a 15 year old son, he's blonde blue eyed, 6 foot and cut. If I would have known my child would be so good looking, I would have waited. Because the chile is going to make me a grandmother way before I am ready. I call him Buh on the page, and in real life. The full nickname, I am no longer allowed to call him that. It's Bubba Doo Mommy Loves You. Yes, I called him that his whole toddler life. So Buh, sounds like duh, only with a b instead.
Next we'll cover my housemates. My step sister Lil D is about 2 1/2 months pregnant. Her boyfriend, T is fresh out as of Jan. Both are in their very very early 20s. Lil D has two kids... B, my nephew, who is 8 and my niece Kay, who is 4.
Now my friends...
Nan... My best best friend since I was 14. We claim that we have been friends for 976 years. Out of all of my friends, Nan is the one that is the most like me. I wouldn't have survived skipping all of high school if it wouldn't have been for her hanging out with me all the time. :) Nan's 15 year old son, Gentle Giant, is Buh's best friend.
Sissy B I lived with her for almost a year. Her and Midget (her husband) and their hoard of children were a soothing balm on my aching soul. She is one of my best friends.
Jennybae... My oldest friend. In 6th grade she was the new girl, and I told her that she could look at me like the welcome wagon, cause I wanted to be her friend. And now, she lives 3 minutes up the road from me. <3
beta is the only friend I have that makes the effort to come see me regularly. (Aside from Jennybae) I am pretty sure beta comes down so much because I cook for him when he comes. And all he has to do is say... "You wanna cook?" and I say "Whatchu want?" He brings it, I cook it and we have a blast. He's quiet and a little backwards, but a nice guy. He's a shirt-off-his-back kind of guy.
Sit<3 is my Slut in Training. She's also one of my best friends. Her son, Potato is one of Buh's closest friends.
Stupid is Buh's dad. No, we were never married. No, we weren't together that long in the scheme of things. Yes, it took us years to be friends.
Ass is my best guy friend. We fight. A LOT. I love it. We fight about him liking my page. (he has not) We fight about him bringing me a frosty. (He will not) And him not being Superman (not even close) Ass is an important man (in his head) because he is a bucket fixer. I am very proud of him, even if he does drive me insanely crazy because he does opposite everything I tell him to do.
LLH is just... amazingface. She's one of my bests. Seriously. I can't deny it. AT ALL. I was going to go out and visit her but things with Buh came up and I had to stay home, and it just sucked. I wish I could see her. She's getting married in less than weeks, and I can't be there. :( LLH is short for Lovely Licket Holder. (Best nickname ever)
Douchebag is my ex. The name should say it all.
Regulars... did I leave anyone out??
*BSWK*
First and foremost... I have a 15 year old son, he's blonde blue eyed, 6 foot and cut. If I would have known my child would be so good looking, I would have waited. Because the chile is going to make me a grandmother way before I am ready. I call him Buh on the page, and in real life. The full nickname, I am no longer allowed to call him that. It's Bubba Doo Mommy Loves You. Yes, I called him that his whole toddler life. So Buh, sounds like duh, only with a b instead.
Next we'll cover my housemates. My step sister Lil D is about 2 1/2 months pregnant. Her boyfriend, T is fresh out as of Jan. Both are in their very very early 20s. Lil D has two kids... B, my nephew, who is 8 and my niece Kay, who is 4.
Now my friends...
Nan... My best best friend since I was 14. We claim that we have been friends for 976 years. Out of all of my friends, Nan is the one that is the most like me. I wouldn't have survived skipping all of high school if it wouldn't have been for her hanging out with me all the time. :) Nan's 15 year old son, Gentle Giant, is Buh's best friend.
Sissy B I lived with her for almost a year. Her and Midget (her husband) and their hoard of children were a soothing balm on my aching soul. She is one of my best friends.
Jennybae... My oldest friend. In 6th grade she was the new girl, and I told her that she could look at me like the welcome wagon, cause I wanted to be her friend. And now, she lives 3 minutes up the road from me. <3
beta is the only friend I have that makes the effort to come see me regularly. (Aside from Jennybae) I am pretty sure beta comes down so much because I cook for him when he comes. And all he has to do is say... "You wanna cook?" and I say "Whatchu want?" He brings it, I cook it and we have a blast. He's quiet and a little backwards, but a nice guy. He's a shirt-off-his-back kind of guy.
Sit<3 is my Slut in Training. She's also one of my best friends. Her son, Potato is one of Buh's closest friends.
Stupid is Buh's dad. No, we were never married. No, we weren't together that long in the scheme of things. Yes, it took us years to be friends.
Ass is my best guy friend. We fight. A LOT. I love it. We fight about him liking my page. (he has not) We fight about him bringing me a frosty. (He will not) And him not being Superman (not even close) Ass is an important man (in his head) because he is a bucket fixer. I am very proud of him, even if he does drive me insanely crazy because he does opposite everything I tell him to do.
LLH is just... amazingface. She's one of my bests. Seriously. I can't deny it. AT ALL. I was going to go out and visit her but things with Buh came up and I had to stay home, and it just sucked. I wish I could see her. She's getting married in less than weeks, and I can't be there. :( LLH is short for Lovely Licket Holder. (Best nickname ever)
Douchebag is my ex. The name should say it all.
Regulars... did I leave anyone out??
*BSWK*
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