BIG DEEP BREATH.....

I think it is the best way to get over someone,however for me if I hook up with someone new,I usually get addicted to her,I fall in love too easy,get hooked on the love and I'm right back where I was to begin with.I have come to realize that I hate to be alone,to be mateless makes me feel worthless.I dont do well alone,case in point.....I left my wife after being caught in a compromising position with another woman,the other woman called it off immediately after we got caught,saying she could not deal with being called a home wrecker,so I moved out and got a motel room,my wife begged me to come back,while the other woman would not return my calls message me or anything zero contact while at the motel,GGRRRR!If the other woman had at least contacted me I wouldn't have even considered going back,but without a mate I fell right back into the very trap I was escaping from.I dont know how to be alone.....My wife was the other woman in the beginning of our relationship and when my first wife found out about her she brought my belongings over to her house and dumped them in the road in front of her house,she stuck by me through thick and thin and even after catching me with another woman she wanted me back,but my problem is,I am still in love with the other woman but she hardly ever contacts me she claims that she still cares about me,but she is afraid of being called a homewrecker,which is frustrating for me because I need a woman who will stick by me through thick and thin,she obviously isnt gonna be there for me and if I leave I will be on my own,but my question is this: Is this other woman eventually going to be with me after all this or is she just blowing me off?I am very confused because usually in these situations the other woman is there for me,at least on a limited time basis,I have never met a woman who claimed she loved me yet wouldnt be there until I'm free and clear,any advice?

~Unsigned

Unsigned,

When I first read your message, I immediately responded with... "You may not want my advice honey... It's not going to be what you wanna hear." But the more I have sat here and thought about it, the more I needed to speak on it. I hope I don't lose you as a follower, but I have to get this off my chest.

I care about each one of my fans. I know I am very absentminded and sometimes I neglect the page, but I do wish nothing but the absolute best for you guys. This includes a happy healthy sex life and honest relationships. You aren't being either. It's not healthy and it's not honest. If you can't be a whole person by yourself, and be okay with who you are enough to not *need* the consistency of what a relationship gives you, there is something wrong.

No one should need someone else to make them whole. The girls I know, myself included, want someone who is going to compliment them, not complete them. I am already whole. I don't need completed. I want someone who is going to make me shine in the best light, not that I need just to shine.

In my most honest and humblest opinions, stop being with either of them. You need to get YOU to a point where you are happy being you, not just you in a relationship. Relationship jumpers, in my experience, live their lives to be who they think their partner wants them to be and they lose themselves in the relationship. When the relationship loses it's shine, they are looking for the next best thing. It's not healthy for anyone involved, and could all be avoided if the jumper was happy and content with themselves enough to be honest. This is the reason there are so many bitter bitches out there. Because they give their all to someone like that and he's cheating... and he never once said anything about being that unhappy. It's enough to make someone hate someone else.

Stop being like this, stop being a douchebag. Because THAT is a douchebag move. If you'd man up and talk to these women before things got bad enough for you to *THINK* about stepping out, you wouldn't be stepping out. Your girl would either work it through with you, or bounce. You can't want to be in the relationship anymore if you are even considering being with someone else. So you should be single for a while. Work through whatever issues you have with you, and then be happy being you for a little while before being with someone else.

So... file divorce papers, and let the 'homewrecker' live her life too... You concentrate on being you. No one should define themselves through a relationship. You should define yourself with the things that spell out YOU.

Sorry if I come across too harsh, but right now, you are giving guys a bad name. You are being a douchebag. STOP.IT.NOW.

*BSWK*

~The Slut