Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Dear Santa,

Since comin up on the Fuxmas season... I thought it prudent to write you a quick note letting you know what it is my heart really desires for this Gimme Gimme Holiday.

First off, I would love a beautiful condo in an affluent area, preferably a gated community. I want at least three stories, with a rumpus room in the basement. Four bedrooms (so what if it's just me and Buh? I can throw some EPIC parties and need the room.) at least three and a half bathrooms, formal living room, and an eat in kitchen. I want completely decorated to my personal chic tastes. This includes heated bathroom floors, fireplaces, a bearskin rug (I don't care, it's a fantasy), a master en suite big enough to dance in, among other things. Oh and a formal dining room so I can have fahncy dinnah pahtays.

To park in the two car garage I want a '68 Chevelle SS 396, black with a white pin stripe. I want that bitch to purr like a tiger when running. I also require a hot, hard bodied gear head to teach me how to do the upkeep on said beast. I don't mind gettin dirty for something that pretty. I also request a fully loaded '11 Lincoln Navigator. When I say loaded, I mean LOADED, game systems and tinted windows and erreythin. I want this also black, with shiny chrome and a supple tan leather interior. Need some pimp wheels.

I am also putting on this list a job in that can support a lifestyle I would love to become accustomed to. Requirements of this job are that I do as little as possible for as much bank as imaginable. If playing on Facebook, blogging, talking on the phone, and hanging out can make me stacks, THAT is the job I was born to do. I basically need a steak and lobster income doing a food stamps job.

A few small miscellaneous plastic surgeries, for the sheer vanity of it. Namely a tummy tuck to rid myself of these stretch marks. I don't care what Kat Williams says, I have to look at them and they AIN'T cute. Yes, they are from weighing 102 pounds and blowing up to over 160 in less than a year then in one afternoon going back down to 120. Childbirth, the most effective way to FUCK.YOUR.BODY.UP.

Finally, I would like to find me a steady piece. One that is tall, broad, decent looking, makes his own money and can fuck me whenever I please. I want him to be a little jealous, a little possessive, intelligent, and strong enough to keep me in check. I want him to not be scared to fight with me, but not overbearing. I want him to be a man's man, but still watch me when he thinks I am not looking. I want his soft sentimental moments to be a candy sweet surprise, savored and good enough to be rewarded with big sloppy wet kisses of the variety that will please and appease. I want him to want me like he needs air, but be chill enough to not rush any kind of relationship. I don't want him to want to even label anything that's going on. Just let shit happen. I don't want to have to beg for attention, but I don't want smothered. I want him to be my friend, and my confidante, but not expect to know every little thing that happens... On the other hand, if I decide to inform him of everything, I want him to take that information and just listen, advise if I request. Santa, I'm not asking for a boyfriend, I'm not asking for a future husband, I'm just askin for a damn good benny. I don't think it's too much to ask for... Just someone who wants to relax and have fun with me. If something happens..... down the road, that is, BET. But not for a grip.

I know I wasn't the best girl on the list, and there were more times than not that I ended up on the Naughty List. But I promise, if you bring me these few small things, I will never ever ask for another thing! And if I never ask for another thing, it won't really matter which list I am on. Right? I will never bother you or your elves again. I would even be willing to fly to North Pole to put in some hours of hard slave labor... ::wink wink::

Thanks in Advance Santa,
Your ever loving Slut.


  1. I ain't no Santa....but I could make the silly slit and that nasty big block Chevy ...both purrrrrrr like kittens....

  2. That right there, is exactly the man I am looking for. word for word.

  3. I will agree with all that except the Chevelle. Give me a 67 Ford Mustang GT 500 Shelby Cobra or a 69 Dodge Charger with the Hemi. And for an everyday vehicle I will take either a Ford Taurus SHO edition or a Dodge RAM 3500 with the Cummins Turbo full four door dully and 4 wheel drive. Ya I am a motorhead, and love working on my own cars. To bad my husband can't buy them for me. Although he is just as likely to steal them if I did have them.

  4. I'll second that list. All of it. ~Rachel

  5. SLUT,it was good,i do landscaping 4 filthy rich people with everything it makes me sick.went 2 get paid yesterday 4 a job(cleaning up leaves)my girl said it would be nice 2 live like that no worries she said all the same things u said bout livin that way.gettin anything ur heart desires,most of those people r misrable people they have everything yet there sitten in there bigass house alone no friends,cant trust people cause they think every1 just wants there shit.i think having everything causes people 2 get weird,its a nice dream,but it takes a toll on ur soul.it would b nice 2 b rich if u can keep ur soul.

  6. I totally agree with all of it... However, if you could just add a p.s. at the bottom for me:
    Santa, Goldi says ditto. However, if you just bring her a cock that's juuuust right, she'll shut the hell up about the other shit.

    Thanks Slut.

    Loves, Goldicocks

  7. Love it, Silly. I could grant the final wish tho ;)
    Jeremy P&Q

  8. Oh Slut! I love your list so very much. May I have what you're having? Thank you very much. *kiss*

  9. Move ove slut I need money too... besides we can share

  10. i love thy as well, in agreeance of pretty much all that especially the new body and loaded navigator

  11. i'm a good listener can we start there?

  12. so which of your hands got full first?