Are you kidding me?

I really want to blog something witty and fun. Because that's how I like to blog. But really, I am so in need that I can't think of anything witty and fun to write. All I keep thinking of is hands and a mouth and sweat and moans and gasps and FUCK. I have had a steady headache for about four days. It's my version of blue balls. lol. I try to just stay busy, bullshit with friends, and try NOT to talk about sex too much. Once that thought crosses my mind, I can't think of anything else... I might as well just go to sleep because I am about worthless. It doesn't help  that Rí is all through my damn head.

He could send me a message that says "Hi. How are you?" and I am so giddy I'm fuckin creamin. I am not happy about this. I don't like that he's got that kind of power over me. I am, on the other hand, quite proud of myself that he still has no fucking clue. I'm amazing at keeping everyone else's secrets... my own?? Notsomuch.

Thing is.... I've been told many times that I am the type of girl who only wants what she can't have. So maybe if he'd start chasing me a bit I would lose interest and be OTTNO. Which would make me soo happy. I don't want anything right now. Nothing but a steady piece. Just someone I can call and say "Let's spend some time together..." and know I'll get a few laughs and a handful of orgasms out of it.

For right now tho, I want to hands and knees crawl across the floor to him, to curl up in his lap and just lick him. I want to hear him whimper my name. I want to beg him to do every little thing I have fantasized him doing. I want him to own me, even if just for two or three hours. FUCK.I.NEED.LAID.

I know I could make a few phone calls and have it taken care of... Right this moment. I know there's at least 1 guy I could say "Hey, I need you to handle this for me." and they would drop everything and come running. No games, no strings attached, no bullshit... They'd fuck the hell out of me and nothing would be different when I got dressed and walked out the door. But I would still have this exact need once we were done. Because it wouldn't be Rí. To be completely honest, I don't even know if Rí can sate me... but he'd be the one to come the closest.

Tomorrow night is the New Year. For the second one in a row I won't have anyone to kiss me at the stroke of midnight. I've considered asking Rí what he's doing... but I won't. Yeah... Cause I suck. And I doubt that anyone will ask me out. Cause again... I suck. lol. So I will most likely be at home, watching 4 loud children tear through the house while Midget sleeps in the recliner and Sissy B fights to stay awake. OR, I will be at Nan's just me her and the boys.

Gawd I am lame.

Hope your New Year is amazing.
*BSWK*