Okay... here goes....

So, I know you have all been chomping at the bit to find out what the next chapter in the saga is... Did we? Didn't we? Are we still at a stagnation? Have we progressed, digressed, fucked like monkeys screamin in the trees? Does he still call me? Do we still talk? What's going on with The Slut and THE Boy?!?!

Well, yeah. Maybe once I know where this is going or what to expect, I will tell you the wicked details. The thing he laughs about is how chill we were about it afterwards. There wasn't that Oh My GAWD! We jus- Jesus FUCK! 17 years and finally... Holy Shit!! It was like nothing had happened, total comfortableness. Right back to being US. He said that on his way home, he had a moment of surrealism... That moment of disbelief that it had FINALLY happened. But it was over soon, and he wanted to turn around and come back and bang it out again.

MY weirdness was the next night. Is he going to call?? If he does, are we going to be weird with each other? What will we talk about? Are we together now? Are we just bennies? Is he going to go back to her? FUCK! Why am I all fucking girly about this shit?? Why does it matter? Because I like him. I like him a lot.

He did call. We talked like we always have, save the extra giggles any time we talked about us fuckin. He's called me every night. Unless I call him first. We do spend hours on the phone. He's been sick, so he basically mopes, and I try to make him feel better. For the most part, he seems pretty into me. On occasion, maybe once or twice, he's made me think maybe not. Then the next night, he's back to being himself. He makes me giggle like a school girl at her first crush. He's so funny and have I mentioned how fucking HOT he is?? He's adorable because he argues with me that he's not that good looking... but I can hear the smile in his voice when I tell him that he's better looking than this famous guy or that one.

I think the nights he's been short, it's that whole 'if we're going to start seeing each other, you need to see the asshole I can be too.' I can handle that. I was married to a douchebag, assholes are nothing compared to that.   Besides, most people do that, you just have to learn to look past it, and push on.

On the nights he's normal... We laugh, we pseudo plan our wedding. It's hilarious. We aren't even together, but we have our wedding 'planned' even worked on the guest list some... We're terrible and going to go to hell, I swear. We decided that I should not only invite Douchebag, but request to be walked down the aisle... It's only fitting that Doucher give me away... I mean, amirite? And it's going to be a (get ready for this Epic Amazingness) Luau/goth/celebrity/beach wedding. Yeah, you read that right... Not sure how it's going to play out... but whatev's I'll work it out. As long as on our 5 year, I get that Redneck/Hilljack/bubble gum and aquanet/ white trash wedding that I want. Yeah... that's right. I want big hair and a white denim miniskirt wedding dress with lucite stripper stilettos.

Anyways, it's after 2, and I think I am going to call him to see how he's feeling. Maybe in the next blog I will tell you about the 4 ct solitaire we've discussed, and he's trying to talk me down to a half carat... smh. He just doesn't get it... just does.not.get.it. But I will teach him, if it gets that far... he will learn.

*BSWK*