Ugggggggghhhhhhhh

Oh my fucking gawd. If this mother fucker doesn't pillage and plunder through my goodies soon I swear I will have to hurt him!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

He called me tonight. I thought he was on vacation. He only had Sunday and Monday nights off. When I didn't call him at all last night, he called me at 12:30, so he had to of busted through his work for the night to call me as soon as he could. Which makes me happy. He's also sticking to the "they are done." Excuse for the weekend?? He didn't have the gas to come get me. He said it would've been pointless to call me just to say "I really wish you were here." Which is a good point. But he's made plans for this coming weekend with me. We'll see, I'm not trying to get my hopes up too high because they will just get busted up again, and I ain't tryin to kill him. {at least like that... But let's face it.. I plan on breaking him at some point.}

I'm kinda nervous. He's talking long term ("One day in the distant future we're going to just get done fuckin and I am going to...") Wait. Wha-?? I just wanna fuck a few times. Just check it out, test drive the damn car before I lease it, let alone think of buyin it. How can I be expected to be in a serious relationship right now?? Ummm... I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I *WANT* to do it. I mean, IF there was a guy I would consider settling down with, it would be one of two guys, and he's one of them. I just don't know if I am ready for all that. If it happens, and it's comfortable, then I won't bitch about it. But I am not looking for Mr Right. I'm looking for Mr wants to bust a nut Right Now. I am having fun being the Slut. Being balls out, completely sexual. I don't know if I could do that in a relationship.

But I am not going to sweat this. I am PIMPSKITTLES! Let's just get the naked part handled a few times. We'll see where we stand then. I hope he's good. I hope he's mind numbing inexplicably GOOOOOOOD.... He already looks like a side of "LAWD HELP ME!" wrapped in a double layer of "FUCK ME!" Let's hope he fucks as good as he looks. The way he talks... he MIGHT be the only man live to have the HOPE of breaking me, and making me beg for mercy. And that, is my quest. Be broken... Beg for mercy because it's too amazing.

Okay, he's going to be calling me back. So Imma close.
*BSWK*